while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
