I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
