Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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