He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize