gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
