i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
