Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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