your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
