it was like his penis was on wheels.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
PANTIES FOUND
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
