I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
