I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
