we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Randomize
