just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
