Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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