i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
there is puke in my bra ... again
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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