I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
