i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
