Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
