Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
