Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You should frame my arrest warrant.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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