Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize