He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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