Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize