why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
