We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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