I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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