I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
