I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
