Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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