5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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