At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Couch. On fire.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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