bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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