I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
