i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
