I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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