He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
