My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
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