Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
