So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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