I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
