i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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