So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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