Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
