it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize