Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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