watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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