so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Is it because I queefed?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize