Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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