I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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