better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
bring money and cleavage
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
