Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
