Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Just pee around me
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
