If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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