ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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