I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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