I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Randomize
