we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We had to coat check the pizza.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You are a genius and a whore.
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