I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize