Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Randomize
