fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
